First Interview w/ NO PARKING
Readers-
I was fortunate enough to receive an e-mail from someone who claimed to be NO PARKING. His/her e-mail will be italicized, and my responses will be regular. Still haven’t received a response to my last sent e-mail. Hmm. And I also obscured his/her name to secure anonymity. Even though s/he included it in the e-mails.
Sidenote: the bands listed in the final e-mail sent by me were found by googling and coming across his/her facebook. Oopsies.
I am no parking.I came across your blog from an associate of mine.I am willing to answer a few questions to right some wrongs from some of your blog’s assumptions.Send the questions at approximately 11:37 CST.If not, I just may refuse to answer.
Your’s in yellow paint,
No Parking
Hey-
Before I waste any time sending over questions to someone who could very well just be faking it, why should I believe you?
No, I’m not asking for a jpg (at this point,) I’m just asking for any reasoning that I should believe you.
I’m especially skeptical because your name is **** ******? I don’t think the actual NO PARKING (who is obviously intelligent) would reveal their name in an initial email to someone who could conceivably be a cop. This could be a trap, yeah? And if you’re the genius that is NO PARKING, you’ve fucked up. And, in my heart, I don’t think brilliance would ever succumb to mistakes of this level.
Which leads me to the following conclusion: you’re a fucking liar. And, if this assumption is true, which it must be! go fuck yourself, **** ******. For wasting my time, and for posing as the greatest.
-Me
Alright Me,
What kind of name is “Me” anyway? Don’t believe. Fine. If you want a .jpg, I can provide. I am knowingly providing my real name. You wanted to know who I was. I am NO PARKING. Fuck you, Me, fuck you. I will continue to tag the dumpsters of the world, letting others know the truth about NO PARKING. Soon I will do something that will push your buttons. Watch out, Me, you squabbling bladder eater. Watch out. Want to know? Decipher the code below
0000****0000IS111NO0000Pa…rking—ME??Suck//s
I realize it might take someone of your intelligence awhile to understand the above, so I will expect an email in a few years.
Yours in fucking off,
NO PARKING
**** ******-
Me is anonymous. If you’ve played in the world of illegality, you know throwing your name around is going to end in: jail. Not interested in dealing with lawyers or judges. Sorry.
Fine. Provide the .jpg.
You are not NO PARKING. You are not a master of any art, let alone deception. Would NO PARKING listen to Arcade Fire? No. Bloc Party? No. Brand New? Everclear? The Gaslight Anthem? No. No. No. You aren’t fooling anybody. You? Are nothing but a fool.
Unless the .jpg is provided, consider this conversation: over. There’s nothing else worth replying to. Especially coming from someone who throws around an insult like “squabbling bladder eater”. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?
-Me
